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Very Bad Blog

Episode 19

by jacqui on February 16th, 2011
↓ Transcript
IRVING: But, Avery ... I've never done ... it.

AVERY: What! You've never had sex?! You're still a virgin!?

IRVING: Well, yes, but ...

AVERY: How old are you?! Like thirty?! You must be into dudes and not these beautiful ladies in the cell next to us!

IRVING: Well, no, it's just I've been busy ...

AVERY: Alright Virgin Oil. Let the master tell you everything you need to know.

KYLIE: Now we need to do our part.

KENDRA: Good thing we majored in guard distraction.

GIRLS: I'm a distraction! I'm a distraction! I'm a distraction!

GUARDS: Huh?

POW

AVERY: Okay Irving, it's time for you to take one for the team. Be strong. You leave a little boy, but you'll return a man!

AVERY: She's gonna pop him like a pimple. Welp, let's get going.

YIN YANG: What are you doing here? Where are the guards?

IRVING: Uh ... Forget about them. It's ... all about you and me ... baby? I'm here to make sweet, sweet love to you!!

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Episode 18

by jacqui on February 9th, 2011
↓ Transcript
AVERY: So ladies, how did you get here?

KYLIE: We were all fresh out of college. Yin Yang placed an ad in the newspaper looking for bright, talented young ladies for 'public relations.' We all answered the ad and drove out here to the middle of nowhere. We were immediately imprisoned and forced to work as phone sex operators.

Yin Yang profits from our misery. The girls who went to city college got along fine. They knew all the fetishes and kinky stuff. The girls from the Ivy League schools ... well ... they're in a better place now.

AVERY: That's hot! What are you wearing?

IRVING: AVERY!

AVERY: OK, you ladies must know the ins and outs of this place. (Tee hee) What's our muscular, well-defined move?

KYLIE: We need to distract Yin and the guards. Yin has ... powers.

KENDRA: Her boobs see all! It's freaky!

KYLIE: There's only one thing that can distract Yin Yang. Your manhood.

One of you must seduce Yin Yang.

AVERY: Scissors, paper! Call it!

IRVING: Paper!

AVERY: Scissors! Scissors cut paper!

IRVING: Aw, eucalyptus bark! I always lose!

AVERY: Sorry, buddy. Fate has given you an important mission. It's time for you to climb Mount Yang!



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